Valentines Day Ideas For Singletons: A guide
Oh Valentines Day, that one day a year when we either go to tons of stores and stress thinking about what to get to our loved one or when we simply stress because everything is red-heartshaped-candy to remind us that we are in fact single.
Today we want to focus on people like us, the 20's singletons. Because at this point it doesn't really matter if you are single or not, I believe we all see valentines day as that day we just can't escape, and as your friends it is our duty to give you creative ideas on what to do this day this year, so without further a due, here's the guide to valentines 2019.
CRY (6:00AM)
Yes, just do it, let it all out, start your day crying, (or to avoid puffy-ness, cry the nights before that) it's like a power nap, you can have one just before an important thing, and you'll be filled with energy and with no one tear left to cry. If you do end up crying the night before or the morning of valentines, keep 2 spoons in your freezer for puffy eyes and don't forget to do this before mascara.
EAT (NO PARTICULAR TIME)
What to do after the crying is done? We eat, we eat our favorite food, chocolate is a popular one this time a year, however we chose chinese food, the greasy and cheap one downtown, that's our favorite one, they even decorate (not that i've spent two valentines in a row there) you pick your restaurant but eat your feelings out, let your foodie out and your diet aside, just this one day.
DAY DRINK (2:00PM)
Maybe you don't want to necesarily drink right after you ate all that greasy chinese food, however drinking is a nice way to get warmed up for the day, I recommend having one or two gin tonics or margaritas at your lunch break, it'll make the rest of the day at the office go smoother and also it's a nice prep for the upcoming night.
DINNER WITH FRIENDS (6:30PM)
Make a reservation in a cute restaurant, get glammed up, look your prettiest, use that expensive foundation you only use in special occasions, put some nice perfume and if you feel like it, wear that cleavage you've been waiting to have a reason to use, this is a signal, this is the time! Eat light but delicious, since the plan ain't stopping here baby.
ACTUAL DRINKS (8:30PM)
Now office is a thing in the past and you are ready to let out your inner glamazon b*tch ready for the runway, start soft and commit to one (or two) types of alcohol, if you get buzzed easily go with gin, that's an easy one. If somebody broke up with you in the last 2 months, go for whisky, if someone broke up with you in the las 72 hours, honey you need shots, tequila, firebomb, whatever, here, this one's on me.
PARTY/DANCE (9:00PM)
By the time you hit the dance floor your head should be able to be faster than your eye speed, (huh?) If you turn around fast and you see the lights in a blurry motion way, congratulations, you can now consider yourself drunk! Dance with all of your friends, twerk if necessary, have no bootie? no problem, neither I do and that ain't stopping us now.
SLEEPOVER (3:00AM)
Valentine's day is officially over and maybe we threw up once or twice already and our feet may hurt like hell, but if you follwed this guide correctly, there should be a smile on your face, and your friends by your side in a large bed, hug them and tell 'em how much you love em. The red day is over and we've managed to live another year, single, happy and with great friends by our side.